Octane
by ENSC28
Summary: Sean returns and turns Emma's perfect world upside down. Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: After a lengthy hiatus, I was inspired to start writing again. Without giving anything away, I'll say right now that my favorite Degrassi couple is Sean/Emma. Think what you will of that. :D I hope you like this new story, I may be a little rusty.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or have rights to any part of Degrassi TNG or any of the characters.**

"Emma? Emma, are you even listening to me? You need to talk about what's bothering you, its part of your treatment."

The slight blond girl tore her eyes away from the window she'd been staring out and sent a flitting glance towards her counselor. "Ms. Sauve, my treatment dictates I have to come to this session, not that I have to talk about anything. Besides, I'm eating – I'm cured!" _And the things I have on my mind right now couldn't be further from calories and fat grams.._

Ms. Sauve sent Emma a stern look "Now you know that you can't be cured just like that. The healing process is long and difficult – that's why you've had to attend these sessions, since you got home from the clinic. Part of the recovery process is figuring out what caused you to stop eating in the first place. You've been making such progress Emma; what's happened? Is it a problem with Peter?"

Emma felt an immediate pang of guilt at the mention of her current boyfriend. She looked away and hesitated "… no, no Peter is great… he… he's done so much for me since this all happened. I haven't been much of a girlfriend to him, though."

"Does that bother you?"

Emma rolled her eyes and sighed at Sauve's thinly veiled attempt at getting her to open up, and then found herself opening up anyway. "No. I mean Yes. I mean – its just that.. there are…. rumors… going around school. About, about someone. Someone from my past. Coming back. And, I'm not sure how they make me feel."

Ms. Sauve tilted her head imperceptibly "Does this someone have a name?"

Emma looked at her shoes and fiddled with the silver bracelet around her wrist; a gift from her parents during her time at the clinic; as she mumbled "itsoncamera".

"Who!"

"SEAN CAMERON!" she repeated sharply.

Ms. Sauve leaned back in her chair and nodded knowingly "Ahhh. I see. Well, perhaps I shouldn't be telling you this, but, yes. Sean has re-enrolled at Degrassi. Today is his first day back."

Emma's eyes went wide and there was a sharp intake of breath. She tried to regain her composure. "Oh."

"How does that make you feel?"

Emma stood up abruptly "My time's up. See you next week." She grabbed her bag off the back of the chair she'd been sitting in and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I have no rights to Degrassi or any of its characters. Do I really have to put this on every page?**

As Emma walked down the hall, Ms. Sauve's question kept replaying in her mind, over and over. _"How does that make you feel?" _

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing herself to conjure up the face of her ex-boyfriend, in the hopes she could answer that question for herself. As expected, Sean's face quickly flashed into place – it never did take long. Her body's reaction was immediate. She felt the flush creep into her cheeks and felt the soft fluttering of butterflies deep in her stomach as an imperceptible smile crept onto her face. She sighed as her eyes remained closed; _I guess that answers that question. Now what the hell am I going to do about it?_

Emma didn't have time to think about the issue any further, as her thoughts were abruptly interrupted as she slammed into Peter. Her eyes flew open and she gasped.

Peter placed his hands gently on her upper arms to steady her and said "hey hot stuff, no need to daydream about me; I'm right here!"

Emma gave a nervous laugh "Just who I was looking for!" and planted a quick kiss on her boyfriend's cheek.

Peter threw a casual arm around Emma's shoulder as they continued down the hall "So – my Mom is going away this weekend. I was thinking you could come over Friday night. We could order some pizza or something. Ham & Pineapple of course – your favorite!" he beamed proudly at her.

_Double cheese _Emma thought; _My favorite has always been double cheese. It just never seemed right to share that with anybody but Sean._

Out loud, she admonished him "Peter! Do you know how much **fat** there is in a single slice of pizza! A **quarter** of a slice even? No way!"

Peter sighed outwardly. "But Em. You've been doing so well.. I thought maybe you were ready.."

Temper flared in Emma's eyes "Well I'm not. God! When is everyone going to stop telling me what I **should** be ready for? I'll tell you what, when I'm ready to fill my body with crap and turn into a gigantic hippopotamus, I'll let you know!" She turned abruptly on her heel and stalked off. She'd barely made it three steps when she again slammed into someone else from behind. This only angered Emma further _Great! This day just keeps getting better! _ "HELLO? Excuse me, can you please get out of my way? Or are you the Great Wall of China or something?"

As the "Great Wall" turned around, realization dawned on Emma and her whole world came to a screeching halt. She found herself staring straight into the eyes of the one and only Sean Cameron.

Sean had turned angrily, ready to give this chick a piece of his mind. His furrowed brow immediately smoothed as he saw who the "rude girl"; as he'd so aptly thought of her just moments ago; really was.

His eyes lit almost immediately, and a huge grin split his face "Emma!" To Emma's complete shock and delight, he picked her up off the ground and enveloped her in a huge bear hug. She giggled, for what felt like the first time in years, and returned the hug with enthusiasm. Sean set her down and pushed her away gently, as if to get a better look at her. "Wow. You look so different! Too skinny, if I do say so myself, but otherwise fantastic!" Emma felt immediate shame at his interpretation and stuttered "I – I… I've been getting a lot of exercise, and not a lot of sleep. Summertime fun, you know.." she gave a week laugh.

Sean's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and he gave a half smile that told Emma he didn't quite believe her, but she plowed on before he could say anything; "And look at you! You don't look so bad yourself Cameron!"

He nodded briefly "Thanks. I thought the 'Slim Shady' look was getting a bit old." They shared a smile. "Anyway" Sean continued, "I'm just on my way to meet the new principal and get my schedule figured out, but it was great to see you Emma. I'm really looking forward to us being friends again." He touched her shoulder briefly and headed off down the hall as Emma called out a soft "You too Sean".

At the far end of the hall, Peter watched unnoticed, a gnawing jealousy poking at him. _So that's the famous Sean Cameron huh? _Knowing he owed Sean for saving Emma's life didn't make him any less eager to punch him in the face when he saw Sean's hands on Emma. Seething, he walked away before Emma could see him.

Sean rounded the corner and stopped to lean against the wall, trying to get his bearings after the encounter he'd just had. He took a deep breath. Knowing he'd see Emma again, hoping he'd see her, and then it actually happening were completely different things. He wasn't prepared for it to happen so early in the day. Moreover, he was completely unprepared for the rush of feelings the meeting had invoked. He shook it off and continued down the hall. The furrow in his brow and his frown returned as he remembered Emma's gaunt appearance. He'd felt her protruding ribs through her thin shirt and knew something was wrong. Well, his first mission at Degrassi would just have to be to ensure that everything was right in the world of one Emma Nelson. After all, they were friends, right? And that was all.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is a lot of filler, but I felt the need to let everyone know where Sean is at once he returns.**

Sean sat in his last class of the day; English; the morning encounter still fresh in his mind. He struggled to keep his attention on what Mrs. Allan was saying; he knew his future depended on it. It helped that Emma wasn't in this class. Sean knew that was a blessing in disguise, as she would only serve as a "friendly" distraction. Just as he reigned his runaway imagination back in, it was derailed again, this time through no fault of his own.

"Methinks Billy Shakespeare was a head case! Surely, thee cannot assume thine lecture doth makes these sonnets anymore interesting!" the lame joke came from the back corner of the class.

_Who the fuck is this joker?_ Sean thought as he turned around to study the source of the interruption. The preppy blond guys' buddies were snickering and giving invisible high fives in approval.

"Peter! If you have a problem with the curriculum, I suggest you take it up with the principal." That shut the kid up immediately. "Sorry Mrs. Allan" _Ha. I knew he was all talk_ Sean thought.

He shook his head and focused his attention back on the front of the class, listening intently. The arrangement he'd made with Student Aid required he keep at least a 60 percent average or they'd take away his funding. It took Sean an hour-long meeting's worth of charm just to get them to reinstate his funding in the first place. They were none too happy he'd left Degrassi before the school year was over after the shooting. Luckily, they were fairly easy to convince once he'd proved he'd finished out that year and the next in Wasaga.

Class let out 20 minutes later. Sean headed for his locker, glad the day was finally over, and a little sad that he hadn't seen Emma again all day. As if his mind conjured her up, she appeared in front of him. She began walking towards him, smiling, which automatically caused Sean to reciprocate.

Out of nowhere came the preppy blond kid from English. Sean thought nothing of it at first, until he noticed Emma's attention refocus on Preppy, the smile fading from her face. Sean's pulse began to race as he watched – _What the hell was his name? Paul? Pavel? Peter _– reach Emma and intertwine his hand with hers. Her face looked pale and drawn. As they walked towards him, he tried to meet her eyes, a thousand questions in his mind, which he knew Emma would pick up on immediately. To his disappointment, she met his eyes only for a brief second before she looked away at the ground, her beautiful blonde hair falling in her face.

Sean stood in disbelief as he turned to watch the couple's retreat. He saw Emma turn around, still clutching Peter's hand. Her eyes were full of emotions Sean couldn't read. To be truthful, at that moment he was too busy trying to get a handle on his own emotions and what they meant. _You just want the best for your friend, that's all. And that guy certainly is not it._ Sean willed himself to believe that, but couldn't shake his foul mood as he made his way home.

He let himself into the tiny bachelor apartment and tossed his keys onto the two-person kitchen table, which was actually a set of used plastic patio furniture. He sighed as he looked around his 'apartment'. _Apparently, being a 'bachelor' meant you didn't need walls around your bed. _His bed; which doubled as the couch; was actually a futon his parents had given him, from a time he was sure came before they'd even invented futons. It sat in the middle of the room, covered in his one set of sheets and the old comforter he'd brought with him from his old room. An old TV he'd been able to get for $25 bucks from a pawnshop sat in the corner on an old TV tray. If he was really lucky he could get two channels on the TV. And that was the extent of his furniture. He'd hung a Three Days Grace poster on the wall, mostly to cover the large yellowed stain on the wall from the previous tenant. _Home Sweet Home. _

Sean knew he should be grateful he had this place. He was footing the bill on his own this time, with help from Student Aid of course. He had electricity; water – which only ran brown for the first five seconds or so – and a phone. It was small and cheap, but it was clean, and more importantly, it was his.

He thought of the agreement with Student Aid, which he'd agreed to and signed. It stated that in order to keep receiving aid, he had to meet three conditions. The first was obviously that he remain in school, with an average of at least 60 percent. The second was that he had to hold down a part time job. Sean had had surprisingly little trouble meeting that requirement. His father knew a guy who owned a garage in Toronto, and once he'd seen what Sean could do with an engine, gladly offered him a job. The third and final requirement was that of any money he made, 50 percent had to go towards bills and rent, and the other 50 percent had to be deposited into a savings account for post-secondary education – with receipts required for proof. It was a stringent agreement, but Sean was determined to make it work. At this, Sean thought of Emma, as it sounded exactly like the sort of the arrangement she would come up with. He laughed softly at that, but couldn't ignore the tightness in his chest when he thought of her and that Peter kid.

Sean shot a quick glance at his watch. _Shit! I'm late for work. _He grabbed his keys, and locked to door to his humble abode as he darted out to the parking lot. He unlocked the door to his pride and joy, his 1991 Acura Integra. Jet black, and built from the ground up by his own two hands. He'd worked out a lot of his inner demons by working on this car in his spare time in Wasaga. Just hearing the purr of her engine had an immediate calming effect on his nerves. _Just like Emma_. He pounded the wheel in frustration, willing her out of his mind _Dammit! I don't have time for this! _He slammed the car into gear and took off, tires squealing.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know this chapter is incredibly long, but I was on a roll. :)**

"Isn't that awesome!… Em?"

Emma dragged her mind back to the present and tried to focus on her boyfriend who was staring intently at her from their usual table at the Dot.

"Hmm?" she murmured.

Peter sighed impatiently "I said that my Dad just sent me a blank cheque and told me I could use on my car! It's going to be so sweet! I'm gonna get…" Emma smiled faintly, tuning out again as he listed off car parts she didn't care to understand.

"Wow, that's awesome." she said absently, without enthusiasm..

"I know, I'm so excited."

Emma blinked and tried to focus on what he was saying but her mind wouldn't leave Sean, and the look that had crossed his face when he saw her with Peter. Her mind was racing, trying to interpret it, but the best description she could come up with was "disappointment". She didn't even want to try and dissect it any further than that; she didn't think her fragile mind could take it right now.

The haze cleared in time to see Peter fishing a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and tossing it the table as he rose.

"Where are you going?" Emma asked, confused.

Peter responded with an exasperated sigh "You're such a space cadet today! I said I'm going to a garage to get an estimate on the work I want to get done."

_Crap, I really haven't been listening to a word he says_. "Oh. Sorry." She replied sheepishly.

Peter gave her a quick peck on the cheek "Whatever. Look, why don't you drop by in about an hour or so? You said your computer was on the fritz… you can use mine to finish your History paper if you want, just bring your jump drive over."

Emma smiled warmly. _He really is a great guy. _"Thanks Peter, that's really sweet of you. I'll be over in a bit."

They parted ways, and Peter headed to his car, a red 2002 Celica. He stopped to buff a spot on the driver's door with his sleeve. Satisfied, he hopped in the drivers seat and took off, heading for the garage his friend Brandon had recommended.

He pulled into the parking lot of the garage a few minutes later. The place looked more like a biker bar than a garage. The building was made entirely of cinderblock, painted robin's egg blue, some of which was peeling. There were no visible windows to speak of, and a faded sign hung above the bay doors proclaiming "Joe's Auto Repair & Customization - est. 1969". _Wow, when Brandon said it wasn't much to look at, he wasn't kidding. But he says they're the best, so.. here goes. _

He walked over to what he assumed was the entrance and pulled on the filthy glass door. A small bell hanging over the door rang to alert the staff to the presence of a customer. Looking around, it struck Peter that the inside was immaculate. He could hardly contain his surprise.

"BE RIGHT OUT!" Peter heard a gruff yell from the back. He nodded to himself and looked around, admiring the large display of rims on the wall behind the cash counter.

Sean walked out into the reception area of the shop, wiping his hands on a grease rag. As he looked up and saw who his customer was, he groaned inwardly. _You've got to be kidding. _He took a deep breath "Help you?" he ground out.

Peter glanced over "Sean Cameron." he said matter-of-factly. _What are the chances? _

"Yeah." Sean replied "and you're Peter. Emma's boyfriend.". The two stared, sizing each other up.

"That's right. I am." Peter said.

"Look man, can I help you or what?" Sean spat out. His distaste for this kid grew with each passing moment.

Peter looked at him smugly "I need a bunch of stuff done to my car. But I think I'd like someone a little more… experienced… to do it.".

The fury in Sean's eyes was palpable. He grit his teeth "Whatever you need, I can do it. I'm the best custom guy they've got." He gave Peter a challenging look.

"Fine" Peter replied, "If your work doesn't cut it, I'll just get your boss to refund me, and fire you." Sean scoffed "Fine by me. You won't need to."

"We'll see about that." Peter's eyes narrowed. "Ok. I want the most expensive rims you've got, for starters. Custom dual exhaust. And a supercharger. Let's start with that. And if I like your work, maybe I'll be back for more."

Sean raised his eyebrows "You sure you can handle all that?" he asked, smirking.

Peter glowered at him "Just do it, grease monkey."

Sean's hands balled into fists "Whatever you say, Preppy. I'll need your car for at least a week. And its gonna cost you. Big time."

"Whatever. I've got the cash. Just don't rip me off." Peter warned.

Sean printed off a work order and estimate and shoved it across the desk at Peter, who hastily scribbled his signature on the dotted line and held out his keys. Before Sean could grab them, Peter opened his grasp and let the keys fall onto the counter with a loud thud "Don't fuck me over.".

Sean never broke eye contact "As much as I'd love to, some things are more important to me than screwing with your precious car." _The job, or Emma? _he thought fleetingly. "One week.", he repeated, and disappeared back into the shop area.

Some distance away, Emma was walking down a busy street on her way to Peter's house when her cell phone rang. She flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Em. Its me. I just left my car at the garage. Where, by the way, I had a very annoying encounter with an old flame of yours".

"Sean? What do you mean annoying? What happened?" Emma asked immediately.

"The one and only. I don't want to talk about it." Peter snapped. "Anyway, I have to take the bus, so I'll be a bit late, if you just want to come over later instead."

"I'm already almost to your house!" Emma exclaimed.

"Oh. Well, my Mom should be home, she'll let you in. You know how to use my computer. Just login as Guest."

"'Kay. See you soon." She broke the connection just as she walked up the high-rise condo building where Peter and his mother lived.

The doorman opened the door for her and she was buzzed through security by Ms. Hatzilakos. As she rode up the elevator to the 23rd floor, she thought of Peter's mention of his 'annoying encounter' with Sean. She wondered what was said, and if it had anything to do with her.

She entered the swanky apartment where Peter and his mother lived and found herself feeling terribly out of place, like she always did here. She tried to remind herself that Peter's mother had gotten the property in the divorce, and she was much more down-to-earth than the stately apartment would suggest.

"Emma! Hi!" her principal greeted her warmly; "Peter isn't home yet."

"Oh, I know. He called my cell to let me know he was running late, but I was already on my way over here, so he said I could just use his computer."

"Oh of course, go on into his room, you know the way."

"Thanks." Emma continued down the long hallway into Peter's bedroom. She shook her head at all the expensive electronics and gadgets he had in his room. _He must have 50 different remote controls_ she laughed to herself.

She walked over to the computer and set down her purse, fishing her jump drive out of it. She gave the mouse a quick shove, waking the computer up from hibernation. Instead of the login screen she expected, Emma saw that Peter had left himself logged in. She thought nothing of it; she really didn't care what account she used, as long as it had a word processor.

Plugging her jump drive in, she opened windows explorer to browse to her history paper. A folder name caught her eye immediately.

"HotStuff"

She smiled, as Peter often called her Hot Stuff. _He must have a whole folder dedicated to me! _After a brief moral dilemma, she double clicked on the folder. _After all, it IS about me. _

Nothing could have prepared Emma for what the folder contained.

"Amanda.jpg"

"Heidi.avi"

"Heather.jpg", among others, and, to Emma's ultimate dismay; "Manny.avi"

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. She felt like the world was closing in on her. With a trembling finger, she double clicked the file bearing the name of her best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I took Jay off the story description. He will make a brief appearance later in the story, but he won't play as major a role as I'd initially thought. :)**

Emma couldn't take her eyes off the screen. It was like a car wreck. Horrific, and yet she couldn't seem to look away. Her chest heaved as tears blurred the screen. It was Manny alright, in the infamous video that Peter swore he'd gotten rid of.

_How many others have there been?_

She looked at the dates on the files and felt the knife twist even further. Some were dated as recently as two weeks ago.

I remember that night… I was stuck home babysitting. Peter said he was having a 'guys night in'; poker and watching the game with his friends.

The shock and dismay Emma felt soon began to transform itself into a burning intensifying anger. She opened each file, gasping at each in turn as she recognized the girls in them; most of them from Degrassi; in various provocative poses, usually visibly intoxicated. She squeezed her eyes shut and wished the images before her were all simply a bad dream.

As if on cue, the door to Peter's room creaked open. Startled, Emma whirled to face the intruder. She wasn't completely surprised to see Peter standing there. The greeting died on his lips as he glanced at the screen and his eyes widened.

"Emma! What the hell are you doing!" he rushed over to the computer and forced his way in front of the computer, punching the power button on the monitor.

Emma stood on shaky legs. Her eyes were wild and her face was streaked with tears. Giving him a hard shove with both hands, she got her bearings, reached back, and slapped him soundly across the face "You bastard". Without another word, she grabbed her purse and her jump drive and fled the apartment. As soon as the elevator doors closed, she leaned against the wall and drew in deep hitching breaths. She couldn't seem to stop the tears.

How could he do this to me? If I weren't such a fat cow, I'd have been enough for him.

She flagged down a cab and instructed it to take her back to her neighbourhood; _No way do I want a busload full of people to see me like this. _Instead of going home, she indicated an address several blocks away, and she continued to walk aimlessly down the familiar streets. She wasn't ready to go home yet and have her mother and Manny ask a million questions.

The cool night air electrified Sean's skin as he cruised along the street with his windows down. His stereo was cranked so high pedestrians glanced over as he sat at a red light. His encounter with Emma's boyfriend had left him riled up and he felt like he could run a thousand miles. For the life of him, he couldn't understand what she saw in the Preppy. To put it bluntly, he was a dick. _Emma deserves more than that. Any girl does, but especially Emma._

The car beside him revved its engine loudly; a challenge, but Sean just shook his head. _That shit could get me in trouble I do not need. _The light turned green and the racer squealed off, leaving rubber on the asphalt. Sean watched as the car had to swerve around a slower car in front of it. The guy nearly clipped the curb as he overcorrected. Sean just shook his head. _If you can't handle it, you shouldn't be driving it._

He was about to turn onto his street when out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar figure in the glow of the streetlight. It was Emma, her blond hair disheveled and hanging in her face as she stared at the sidewalk as she walked. Her arms were crossed over her chest in a self-protective embrace, and as he watched she ran a trembling hand absently through her hair. Sean pulled the car over to the curb and turned the music down.

"Emma?" he got no response.

"EMMA!" he said more forcefully, giving the horn a brief honk.

She glanced over at him. Sean noticed she'd been crying and felt a clenching in his gut. He leapt out of the car and ran over to her, putting a concerned hand on her shoulder.

"Em, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" his voice was an octave higher than usual.

"Does emotionally destroyed count?" she said with a scoff.

"You have to tell me what happened. Come on, I'm getting you out of here. You can't just wander around this area at night by yourself." He took her elbow and led her to his car. Opening the passenger door, he eased her into the seat and closed the door.

It still hadn't quite registered with Emma that it was Sean that had found her, or that she was sitting in his car. She leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. Without knowing she needed to, she drifted off to sleep immediately.

Sean completed the brief drive to his apartment and started over at Emma's sleeping form. His mind was racing. _Christ, what the hell happened to her? Great – what am I supposed to do now? She's sound asleep. _Left with few other alternatives, he walked around to the passenger side and lifted Emma out, still sleeping. He nearly gasped at how little she weighed. Again he could feel her ribs and spine protruding and closed his eyes to steel himself from waking her up just to scold her. Due to her feather light frame, he was easily able to carry her up the two flights of stairs to his apartment.

Once inside, Sean gently laid Emma on the futon. He brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face and asked the sleeping girl "What happened to you tonight, Em? Who hurt you?"

At his words, Emma's eyes fluttered open and she stared at him. She sat up groggily, confused at her surroundings. "Sean? Where – where did you bring me?"

"My place. Home Sweet Home." He gave her a small smile.

"Why?" she asked.

"Well, it was closer than your house, and besides, I wouldn't have known how to explain to your mother what the heck you were doing in my arms, and why you had cried yourself to exhaustion."

Emma nodded. That made sense.

"Come on Em. Spill. What happened? You can tell me. We're friends, right?"

_Friends. Right. _She took a deep breath. "I…. I was over at Peter's… he said I could use his computer…"…. Emma watched Sean's reaction carefully as she poured out the whole story. When she was finished, Sean was pacing around the tiny room. His jaw was tightly clenched, his fists balled.

"I'm going to kill him." He said it so calmly it was chilling.

He probably would have left the apartment to do just that, had he not looked over at Emma and seen she was crying again. Her face crumpled, and she choked out words that would haunt Sean forever and break his heart all in one simple sentence:

"Why wasn't I enough?"

Sean swore an oath and rushed over to sit beside her. He gathered her in his arms and held her against his shoulder as sobs wracked her thin body. Sean rubbed her back absently, staring straight ahead, his mouth set in a firm line. He wished he'd never met Peter Stone, and he was going to make sure the feeling was mutual.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm awful. Its been soo long and I apologize. So much is going on in my life I don't have much time anymore. But I'll do what I can. Plus, a few of my ideas are starting to mirror too closely the spoilers we've gotten for season 6, so I have to be careful! Thanks for still reading, if you are! Ps: In my story Manny's not living with Emma.**

The next morning, Emma looked out her window and felt a flood of relief as she spied the black car idling in her driveway.

_He came. Thank God. I can't face today alone._

She shouted a hasty goodbye to her Mom who came rushing out of the kitchen "Em, are you sure you want to go to school today? I mean, you had a rough night, I can call the school if you want and you can stay home."

"Geez Mom, it was a breakup, not a horrific car accident. I'll be fine." She said with more confidence than she felt at that moment. "Besides, Sean's here to pick me up." At that, Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Sean? I didn't know you two were…friends… again."

"Yeah.. well it's a recent development. I'll see you after school." She started out the door.

"EMMA!" Spike shouted. Emma turned "Make sure you eat today."

Emma rolled her eyes "Yes, mother." She felt a small, indescribable tug of happiness seeing Sean sitting in his car, fiddling with his stereo. He looked up as he saw her approaching and smiled.

"Hey – you look like you're feeling better." He observed.

"I am. Thanks in no small part to you. I never thanked you for last night. It meant a lot to me. And this.. I don't think I'm ready to face all the questions… or Peter… on my own just yet." She tried to brush the nervousness from the pit of her stomach.

He smiled reassuringly "Well as long as I'm around, you won't have to."

Beneath his calm façade, however, Sean's blood was near boiling as he thought of Peter and the 87 ways he'd love to rearrange his face. He fought back the anger and focused on helping his friend through the long day ahead.

"Well, that makes three questioning looks, two confused stares, and a muffled 'what the hell' since we arrived. Think people are starting to catch on?" Sean gave Emma a mischievous grin.

Emma felt the knot in her shoulders loosen ever so slightly as she gave him a light laugh "let's hope so" she mumbled under her breath. They headed into their first class side by side, a cohesive unit that left everyone around them wondering what happened between Emma and Peter, when Sean & Emma became friends again, and if there was anything more to it than that.

Manny gave Emma an inquisitive eyebrow raise when Emma took her seat next to her. She opened her mouth for a teasing remark but took in Emma's pale drawn face and bloodshot eyes and thought better of it. "Are you ok?" she mouthed at her friend. Emma had sent a brief text message at 1:00am the night before that simply said "Peter & I are over. U were right abt him. Will fill u in later." Emma nodded.

"Are you eating?" Manny mouthed. Again, she got a slight nod in response. _This is not good. _Manny thought. She shot Sean a glance; who until that point had been staring straight forward with an intent, almost angry expression on his face. Sensing Manny's eyes on him, he turned. She cocked her head questioningly at him, and was again rewarded with a curt nod, one Manny classified as almost protective in nature.

_If anyone can look after Emma, it's Sean. _Manny thought _I just hope he doesn't hurt her again. That, she may not recover from._

After class, Manny cornered Emma – who was not surprisingly accompanied by Sean "Em! We need to talk" Emma shot Sean a glance letting him know she was in good hands. He nodded, but gave Manny a stern look "You make sure Peter doesn't go anywhere near her." Manny was confused, but wasn't going to question him. "Yeah. Yeah I got it. I'll return her in one piece I swear."

Sean looked at Emma "Em, I'll meet you at your locker in 1 hour, ok? I have a free period now." She shot him a slightly exasperated look. "I'm fine you guys, really. I just didn't get much sleep last night. He's just a guy." She said with more conviction than she felt.

After one long glance at Emma; Sean said sternly "1 hour" and turned and left. He had an hour to find Jay.

Knowing Jay as well as he did, he found him in three minutes. He was up to his elbows tinkering in his Honda – Sean was sure the profanity could be heard a block away. He grabbed a spare wrench and started twisting bolts. Jay sent him the most appreciative look he was capable of "Well look who finally decided to grace me with his presence.. Haven't seen much of you since you got back."

"Yeah. I know. I've been…. Busy."

Jay snorted "Is 'Busy' blonde, about five-five, and goes by the name of Greenpeace?"

Sean wasn't in the mood for Jay's crap today "whatever man, look. I have a problem. I need your help with something" … he gave Jay a quick rundown on the situation, and what he intended to do. As he expected, Jay was more than agreeable. He had no use for Peter, whom he referred to as "Poindexter". "Let's find him. But first, help me finish this! This damn thing is defective!" Sean laughed "It's not defective man, you are!" They worked solidly for the next 40 minutes and then headed inside.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma had just bid goodbye to Manny and was heading to meet Sean when an arm shot out of an abandoned classroom and dragged her inside. She didn't have time to scream before she was whirled around and pressed up against the wall, her mouth covered by the hand of her newly-ex-boyfriend.

"Emma. Emma I need to talk to you. Look, I know… I know what you found. And I'm sorry… but we belong together. You know we do. " at that, he tried to kiss her. Panic flooded through her and survival instinct kicked in. She pushed him away as hard as she could, but the past few days, combined with the toll anorexia had taken on her body had left her strength tapped out. Terror gripped her as she realized she was powerless to stop whatever it is Peter planned on doing to her.

At that moment, Sean and Jay were stalking through the halls looking for their target. Sean heard a commotion coming from the behind the closed door of the biology lab. He would never be able to explain how he knew, but at that moment he knew in his gut that Emma was behind that door. He signaled to Jay and they burst through the door in tandem, to see Peter trapping Emma against the wall trying to kiss her. At their entrance, Peter looked over, allowing Sean a clear view of Emma's terrified face. He let out a scream "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER". An uncontrollable rage gripped him as he and Jay went running towards Peter. They each grabbed an arm and proceeded to bodily drag Peter; who was struggling the entire time; from the building.

They barely made it off school property before Sean threw his first punch, hitting Peter square in the jaw. Jay held Peter with his arms behind his back while Sean continued to pound his fists into various parts of Peter's anatomy. Each blow brought the air rushing out of Peter's lungs. "You think you're tough, huh? You think you can just do whatever you want to her? You think she wants anything to do with you?". Sean had no intention of stopping; when out of the corner of his eye he saw Emma, standing there watching. He could see she was trembling like a leaf. "Sean?" she said meekly "please… please stop." At her plea, Sean regained clarity.

Looking at Peter's bloody broken form, he stepped back, and gave Jay the signal to release Peter. Sean stepped back towards the injured boy and gave him a shove that sent him collapsing to the ground in a heap. He leaned down so that only Peter could hear him.

"You ever touch her, you ever even look at her again, and I will fucking kill you." Peter groaned a response.

Sean went to Emma, who had been unable to stop crying or trembling, and gathered her in his arms. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so, so sorry". With that, he led her to his car and took her home.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! FYI, Sean won't get in trouble as the fight took place off of school property (Sean & Jay knew that, that's why they dragged him outside). They're sneaky, huh? Haha Lots of talk in this chapter, a little short, maybe a little boring. Hopefully more action in the next chapter.**

The ride home was agonizingly silent. Emma stared out the passenger window, refusing to give Sean even a glimpse of her face. It killed Sean not to be able to see her eyes, the one thing which had always given her away.

"Emma, I…"

"I don't want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. It's done." Her reply was hollow, and sounded foreign even to her own ears. She didn't look at him.

"Alright.. ok. I just wanted to apologize… for you having to see, to see me like that. Doing that. To Peter." He carefully worded the apology.

"Don't say his name. Don't ever say his name again." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"GOD DAMNIT EMMA! ITS NOT ABOUT HIM!" the ferocity with which the emotion burst forth took them both aback. He pulled the car over on a quiet street a few blocks from her house and raked his hands through his hair, as if he wanted to rip it all out at the roots.

"I'm sorry he hurt you. Of course I am. But I'm more sorry that you saw me lose control like that. That I scared you. It… It makes me no better than him." He explained desperately.

At her questioning stare, he continued, "I came back, thinking I was a better person. That I had a handle on my anger. I thought I was in control. But," he locked eyes with her "when I saw him hurting you.. it all came rushing back. Something took over. I lost control. I don't even remember any of it. If it hadn't been for Jay having the presence of mind to take Peter off school property, I could have been expelled. I can't afford to lose my student aid, but in that instant, I didn't care. Not when it was…" he was struggling to understand the emotions himself, let alone voice them. "…you. I scared myself, and I scared you. And I'm sorry for that. Please accept my apology."

Emma looked at him incredulously "Your apology? Sean I.. you **saved** me. If you hadn't gotten there when you did I… I don't know what he would have done. Yeah, seeing you beat up Peter was scary, but I wasn't scared of **you**…never of you. "

Sean let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "I just assumed.. you were shaking… and you asked me to stop hurting him.."

Emma took a shaky breath "Don't you get it, Sean? I asked you to stop for your sake, not his. I didn't want you to get in trouble. I know how important it is for you to finish school." She reached over and absently brushed a stray hair; which he'd let grow since he left; out of his face. She smiled sadly and said the thing that had been weighing so heavily on her mind "That's why… that's why I need you to stay away from me, Sean. You've been nothing but a great friend to me, but I keep getting you in trouble somehow. I must be quite the damsel in distress, it seems like every time I turn around you're saving me from something. Or someone. It's not good for you, Sean. I'm not good for you. You need to focus on yourself for once. Be selfish. Not that you'd know how." She let out a small laugh.

"What? Emma, no, I – this isn't what I want." He felt his chest tighten at her words.

Again she smiled without humor "I know Sean. But I do. Please. Let me do this one thing for you. I haven't been a very good friend to you. Please, let me be one now." She was crying at this point. Looking at her pleading eyes, realizing what she was asking, made him want to burst into tears himself.

"I don't know how to stop caring about you, Em. I never have. I don't know if I can be around you and not want to look after you." His breathing had grown more frequent, his heart racing.

Emma strengthened her resolve. She straightened in her seat. "You need to finish school. And I need to prove I can look after myself; that I can heal - myself. This is what's best for both of us for right now, ok? Please Sean." She felt herself weakening with each passing second, so she opened the door to the car.

Sean sensed he was losing the battle, and the overpowering grief he was already feeling was so apparent; even to himself; that it left him wondering what the hell he was doing letting her walk out of his life.

"Emma" he pleaded desperately "I don't think I can do this. How am I supposed to see you and not talk to you? Just pretend? Pretend I don't care? That you're not…my… not you? How do I do that? I can't." his eyes swam with unshed tears.

Emma swore she could feel the tattered threads holding her heart together give way.

"Pretend… pretend I broke your heart." She said sadly, and softly closed the door.

"I think you just did." Sean said to the interior of his car, which now seemed entirely too empty.


	8. Chapter 8

**Four weeks later….**

Sean stared at the whiteboard with bleary eyes. A good night's sleep was a distant memory; he hadn't had one in weeks. Sleep only brought nightmares of Emma, seeing her terrified face while being attacked by Peter, or almost shot by Rick. On the really bad nights, the dreams were only of the last time he'd talked to her, when she'd told him they couldn't be friends anymore. Sean still had a hard time with that one. The weeks since had been pure hell. He knew it was going to be hard, but he had no idea how hard – the sense of loss he felt was overwhelming at times. He spent many waking hours and even more sleepless nights trying to figure out how, in a few short weeks, Emma had rooted herself once again so deeply in his life that walking around every day pretending she didn't exist was like losing a limb, a part of himself. By some small miracle he was managing to maintain his required average, but barely. He tried to snap himself out of it.

_Get a grip, Cameron. If you lose your student aid, you'll never see Emma again anyway. _

With a sigh, he attempted to focus on what the teacher was saying.

_Two rows, and four seats to the right. _Emma thought. That's how far away she was from Sean. Close enough to see, but the distance might have been miles. She took comfort in the fact that she could watch him here, silently and unknowingly. Having to pretend she didn't see him in the halls or outside by his car after school nearly killed her. She did see him, of course. Her body was always acutely aware anytime he was around.

The inner struggle she'd been fighting for weeks was nearly as difficult as overcoming her eating disorder. Sean Cameron, it seemed, was an addiction in his own rite.

But in spite of all these bad feelings, there was another that rivaled them. Pride. Despite her inner turmoil, her anguish at knowing she couldn't talk to the one person she most wanted to – Emma had never fallen back into old patterns. She ate consistently, almost paying no attention to what she was consuming. She ate what she wanted, when she wanted it. She'd managed to gain 8 pounds. She was too absorbed thinking about Sean; wondering how he was doing; to worry about anything else. For the first time in a year, Emma felt like she had won the battle with anorexia.

The bell signaling the end of class rang, and as usual, Emma stayed in her seat until she had watched Sean get up and exit the classroom. And, as usual, Sean did so without a backward glance. With no right to be; after all, she'd brought this on them; Emma felt a stab of hurt.

"Em, ready for lunch?" Manny shook Emma out of her thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, let's go. The caf has personal pizzas today! I am sooo getting extra cheese." Emma said with a grin.

Manny laughed and linked arms with her "Em, have I told you how great it is to have the OLD Emma Nelson back?"

_But she's not entirely back to her old self._ Manny thought. It didn't take a best friend to see that Emma was conflicted. On the surface, she was doing fantastic. She'd put the whole "Peter Incident"; as they now referred to it; far behind her and was doing great with her therapy. But there was always a slight trace of pain I her eyes, and her voice. Her laughter seemed to have a three second delay on it. Manny also had a pretty good idea what the cause of the pain was, even though she couldn't get Emma to talk about it. Sean. Manny hadn't seen them speak in weeks; and Sean looked like hell. Nobody at Degrassi dared go near him for fear he'd bite their heads off. He'd always been moody, but now he was downright unapproachable.

But Manny Santos wasn't afraid of a challenge, and she was damned if she was going to let Sean Cameron hurt Emma any more than he'd done in the past.

"Hey, Em, I'll meet you in the caf ok? I just have one quick stop to make. Save me a seat."

Emma looked at her friend quizzically but replied, "Ok."

Manny stalked off in search of the perceived cause of her friend's troubles. She found him at his locker, which he was in the process of slamming shut with way more force than necessary.

"Cameron. We need to talk." When Sean focused his eyes on Manny she nearly took a step back. His face had taken on a noticeably gaunt appearance, and he looked pale and wild eyed.

"What do you want, Manny." He spat out.

"What I want, Sean, is to talk about whatever it is you did to Emma, and tell you that you'd better fix it. Now." Manny put on a tough face, but was trying hard to keep the tremor out of her voice.

He let out a derisive laugh "What _I_ did? Oh, that's right. It must be my fault. It's _always_ my fault. Sean Cameron, troublemaker extraordinaire. Emma's…" He paused mid-sentence, a concerned thought pushing its way out "Wait. She's eating, right?"

Manny sighed "Yes. Yes she's eating. Actually in that one respect, she's doing fantastic. But she's hurting in other ways Sean, and she won't tell me why."

"So you assume it's because of me?"

"Sean, you look like hell. While your new broody, drug addict look might appeal to some girls, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you're not doing so hot either."

Sean glared at her.

At that moment, Emma came up to the arguing twosome. She'd come looking for Manny after waiting for her in the cafeteria for 10 minutes. She was shocked to find her talking to Sean. Her nerves flew off the charts and she put a hand on her stomach to try and quell the nausea she felt immediately.

"Hey! What's going on here?" she inquired.

Manny glared at Sean "He won't tell me what he did to you!"

Sean scoffed and tried to steady the beating of his heart.

Emma looked confused "What he did to me? Manny, Sean didn't do anything to me!"

"Well why are you so sad then?" Manny demanded.

"I… " Emma couldn't bring herself to tell the whole truth. "He didn't do anything to me Manny. I promise. Now can we just leave it at that?"

Sean let out a breath. "Thanks for clearing that up, Emma." he said sarcastically. He felt his resentment of the past four weeks bubbling to the surface. "Oh wait, I'm sorry – I guess that breaks your little 'no contact' rule, doesn't it." With a snarl, he turned and stalked away.

Emma closed her eyes to steel herself against the pain brought on by Sean's parting shot.

She opened them to find Manny staring expectantly at her "Ok Em. Spill. What the hell was that about?"

"Dammit Manny, I said I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone!" And with that, she turned and ran in the opposite direction Sean had taken, leaving Manny standing in the hall wondering what the hell had just happened and how she'd gotten in the middle of it.


	9. Chapter 9

Jay watched, slightly amused, as his best friend slammed tools around and cursed under his breath.

"What the hell has your panties in a twist dude? You've been even more bitchy than usual lately."

"Back off Jay." Sean warned.

"Oh come on Sean, you've been sulking for weeks now – funny, how it all started around the time you stopped following Emma around like a little puppy dog." Jay snorted.

Sean's eyes flashed, "Screw _her. _This isn't about her. And I wasn't following her around." he spat out.

Jay raised an eyebrow "Could have fooled me. You might as well just tell me what you did this time."

Sean threw down the wrench he'd been holding and yelled "Augh! Why is it always **my** fault? Why does **everything** have to be about her?"

Jay gave a knowing smirk "So it **is** her that's got you all bent out of shape."

Sean glared at him "Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm not 'allowed' to talk to her anymore. So what do I care."

"What? Wait - why can't you talk to her?"

"Because!" he burst out "she's stubborn.. and so damn independent and she thinks.. she thinks she has to prove something! And that she's no good for me! Of all the pig headed, crazy ideas she's ever had.. some friend!"

Jay shook his head "Man, you really can be slow sometimes. And I'm the one who got expelled!" at Sean's confused look, he sighed and tried another angle "Sean, did you ever stop to wonder why this bothers you so much?"

The rant Sean had been about to continue was postponed, as he looked at Jay "what the hell are you talking about?"

Jay rolled his eyes "You're in love with her, you idiot! Think about it! It's obvious to whole damn world – except you! Now, she wouldn't be my choice – there are hotter chicks at Degrassi, and certainly less opinionated ones… but she's obviously got a hold on you. Jesus Christ man you're turning me into a sap. I sound like a fucking romance novel!" He smacked Sean on the arm; who by this point was starting at him wide-eyed.

Sean opened his mouth to protest. _No. I don't love Emma. She's my friend. That's all. I'm angry because I don't like being told who I can and cannot be friends with. _But the protest died on his lips as realization hit him like a lightning bolt.

He leaned against his car for support and placed a hand on his brow. "Oh….shit."

Sensing that that was as much agreement as he was going to get for now, Jay nodded his approval "Good. Now what the hell are you going to do about it?"

* * *

Emma had been laying on her bed staring at the ceiling for over an hour. That's how Manny found her as she entered the room they shared.

"Em? You okay?" she hedged.

Emma glanced over. "Manny… I… think I made a mistake.".

"Ok." Manny offered cautiously "A mistake involving Sean?" she guessed.

Emma closed her eyes and a few tears slipped out. "Yes." She whispered.

Manny sat on the bed beside her friend and sighed "What happened Em?"

"Well" Emma began "I told him that I didn't think we should be friends anymore. Sean was doing so well and he had grown up so much – he was so in control. But thanks to me, and the Peter Incident - he risked losing everything he's worked so hard for. I told him I was no good for him. And that I didn't think we should talk anymore."

By now Manny was staring at Emma as though she had sprouted another head. "You told him _what_? Emma, why?"

"I thought it was best for both of us." Emma replied sullenly.

Manny scoffed "Best for both of you? Emma, have you _seen _'both of you' lately? Sean looks like he's been on a month-long bender, and you - you're a mess! Don't think I don't know it – we've been best friends for years, I know you. You pretend you're okay, but you're so totally _not_ ok."

At Emma's distressed look, she stated matter-of-factly "Em. I think it's pretty obvious what's wrong with you." She paused, and upon getting no reply she continued. "You, Emma Nelson, are completely and totally in love with Sean Cameron".

Emma sprung up as though she'd gotten an electric shock "What? No, no I am not. I'm **not**" Manny gave her a disbelieving look at her insistence "I mean.. we're just friends. I miss my.. friend. I'm not in love with Sean. I'm not." Emma continued her tirade as memories of Sean flashed through her mind; while Manny sat back and waited patiently for her to catch up. "I'm.. I mean I can't be…." A hand flew to her mouth and she sank to her bed, flopping down in the same position she'd occupied earlier.

"Oh my God. I'm in love with Sean." She groaned. "Manny, what am I going to do?"

**A/N: Ok, I know, not very romantic. But come on, it's Sean and Emma! I'll make it up to you later.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, you have to tell him." Came Manny's matter-of-fact reply.

Emma scoffed "Oh yeah - sure Manny. 'Hey Sean. I know we haven't spoken in weeks and you basically hate me now, but well, I'm in love with you'." She rolled her eyes "No. Not an option".

Manny grew exasperated "EM. You can't just **not **tell him. He deserves to know."

Growing quiet and looking down Emma replied softly "I can't be rejected by him again Manny. My heart might not take it."

Sinking down on the bed beside her, Manny put a supportive arm around her shoulders "Can your heart take it if you don't tell him how you feel?"

Emma looked at her, resigned "No."

* * *

The next day, Emma could barely concentrate. Sean hadn't been in any of the classes they shared, and her nervousness about telling him how she felt had quickly turned into worry that something was wrong. By the time the last class of the day let out, she thought she'd go crazy. She rushed to the MI lab and found her stepfather grading papers. 

"Dad" she blurted out, forgetting where they were "Was Sean in class today?"

Looking up, Snake's face softened "Oh… Emma… I thought you'd have heard by now, Sean withdrew from Degrassi this morning. He cleaned out his locker during homeroom."

"Wh… what??" she stammered, "Where… where was he going?"

"He didn't say, at least not to me. I'm sorry Em." he took in his daughter's panicked face and, putting it together with Sean's stricken one this morning realized that there was a lot more to the story than either of them was willing to share.

Emma began backing out of the classroom "I.. I have to go. I won't be out late. Promise."

"Emma!!" Snake called after her as she turned broke into a run. He sighed. "I hope you find him, Em" he said quietly to himself.

By the time she arrived at her destination, her heart was racing, more from nervousness than physical exertion. She placed a hesitant knock on the weathered door of Sean's apartment. Her breath caught in her throat as the door swung open. The room was empty.

Emma felt as though she'd been kicked in the chest. The air left her lungs in one quick expulsion, and she swore she felt the room tilt. She entered hesitantly, wondering if somehow she was going to wake up from this bizarre dream and find all Sean's things in their proper place. A few quick blinks told her that this was no dream, and she sunk to her knees. Burying her face in her hands, wracking sobs shook her body as she realized she'd lost him – again. And this time, he didn't even know how she felt.

"Sean, there's a…." Emma looked up as the voice trailed off, and she saw Jay standing in the doorway, with much the same look on his face she imagined she'd had earlier. He looked around the small room in disbelief. "Oh, shit. Cameron, you idiot." Jay muttered in disgust.

"You didn't know he was leaving?" Emma asked shakily.

"No. I wouldn't have let him run away like a little sissy."

"What do you mean, run away?" she didn't understand.

Jay eyed her warily. He took in her position on the floor, her tearstained cheeks and decided it was a safe bet that she felt the same way Sean did. "From you."

"Me? I don't understand. I mean I know he hates me because of my stupid idea that we shouldn't talk anymore, but…"

Jay groaned in disgust "God, you guys are trying to turn me into Dr. Phil. Look. Sean didn't leave because he hates you. He left because he loves you, Emma. And as far as he was concerned, you were never going to have anything to do with him again. Just a guess, but I am assuming he left because he thought it would be easier for everyone involved."

Emma was still trying to process what Jay was saying "Sean.. Sean loves me?"

Jay rolled his eyes "Man, you two are both stupid. A match made in heaven. YES. Why do you think he got so upset about your ridiculous no-contact rule?"

"I hadn't thought about it." A small smile crept onto her face as she realized the enormity of what she was being told. _He loves me. After everything, he still loves me._ However, a flash of anger quickly replaced her brief euphoria. "He loves me, and he just **left**!?!? Without telling me how he felt??"

_Uh oh._ Jay thought. _This is not good._

"Jay – where did Sean go?" she asked evenly.

"I don't know, he didn't tell me he was leaving either, remember?"

"WHERE WOULD HE GO JAY?" she demanded.

"Home!" he spit out "If I had to guess I'd say he went home. To Wasaga."

"Take me there. Now!" At this point, Emma was yelling; leaving Jay to wonder exactly what **he'd** done to evoke such anger. "Hey! I'm not the one who left you, Greenpeace! Don't yell at me!"

Emma closed her eyes and sighed, "you're right. I'm sorry. Please. Please will you take me? I need to find him." Desperation had creeped into her voice.

With one final eyeroll, Jay relented. "Alright. Let's go. But you're paying for gas!"


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I think this is the last chapter, so I'm trying to make it a long one. **

1 hour, 43 minutes. That's how long they'd been driving. That's also how long they'd gone without speaking.

They passed a sign proclaiming "Wasaga Beach 25". Emma drew a sharp intake of breath. 25 kilometers. They were almost there. She wasn't sure if she was ready. The whole trip was an off-the-cuff reaction to Sean's leaving, and hadn't been planned with her usual thoroughness.

Jay noticed her tense up and sighed "Stop worrying, Greenpeace. You're going to tell Sean how you feel and he's going to get all sappy and say he feels the same way, you'll kiss and make up and we'll bring him home. Simple as that."

Emma stared out the passenger window and muttered, "He doesn't even know the bad stuff yet."

Jay had a feeling he knew what she was talking about. "Look..Emma.. I wasn't going to tell you this.. but Sean knows about what went down in the ravine. With us."

"WHAT!?" Emma squealed "You told him!? How could you!!?" had the car not been moving at 120 km/hr, she would have attempted to jump out at that point. She buried her face in her hands.

He took a deep breath "This summer, I went to see Sean. I took off driving one day, and ended up in Wasaga. Sean and I just sat in this diner for hours and talked." At her wide eyes he stammered "and if you tell anyone that I'll kill you" but he followed the statement with a smile. "Anyway, I talked a lot about Alex… and Spinner and how all my friends had ditched me." He looked over at his passenger "He talked mostly about you. I never meant to tell him, Emma. But he was going on and on about how you were so perfect and how he could never live up to your standards.. and I just thought that maybe telling him would prove that you were human, too."

Emma looked incredulous. "Oh my god. I can't believe you told him. What.. what did he say?"

Jay scoffed. "He broke my fucking nose." Emma gasped as she vaguely remembered seeing Jay with butterfly bandages and a bruised face near the end of the summer. "**Sean** did that?"

"Yep. Prick. I swore I'd never speak to that punk again." He laughed "But, two weeks later he moved back, and he was on my doorstep, looking for a place to crash until he found a place of his own. Pretty coincidental timing, if you ask me."

"He never said anything." Emma said, still shell shocked.

"Yeah, Sean's not exactly a pro in the communication department, in case you haven't noticed".

"Understatement of the century." Emma sighed, "Well, I'm still mad you told him. But I guess I'm sort of glad he knows. I am sick of there always being **something** between us. Maybe this will clear the air. Even though it should have come from me."

Jay shrugged "Well – we're here." As Jay turned onto the dirt road Emma remembered from her last time here, her heart started racing at the sight of Sean's parents' mobile home. She thought it would stop altogether when Sean's car came into view, hatch raised, as Sean himself unloaded a box.

They'd found him.

At the sound of Jay's modified exhaust, Sean turned. The box fell from his hands as he focused on the blond figure in the passenger seat. He took a tentative step forward as Emma threw her door open before the car even came to a complete stop. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but the look in her eyes stopped him. She was pissed.

Storming up to him, she stopped short. She took in the car full of Sean's things. "You really weren't coming back… you ran away… and didn't even say goodbye" at this, she turned back to Jay "I can't do this" and shoving Sean out of the way with both hands; headed to the only other place in Wasaga she knew how to get to – the beach.

Sean looked at Jay, his mouth hanging open; a confused, desperate look on his face. "Well, go after her!" Jay commanded. "I sure as hell didn't drive all this way just to see you wuss out now."

Wordlessly, Sean turned and headed the direction Emma had gone. He found her sitting on the deserted beach, staring out over the water. As she noticed him approach, she turned her face away from him.

Unsure what to say, Sean went with his gut. "What are you doing here, Emma?"

"I could ask you the same thing." she snapped.

He sighed. He could see she was going to be 'Firecracker Emma' today.

"Look. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, alright? But I couldn't stay. I couldn't do it anymore".

Now she did look at him, unable to suppress her curiosity. "Do what?"

"This." He gestured wildly between them.

"I don't.. I don't understand."

"I was stupid to think I could just be your friend. Stupider still to think I could be around you and not even be your friend. Whatever we had, I killed it three years ago. I get that. But being around you every day, knowing all you'd ever see me as is a friend, or even worse, a former friend - I couldn't do that anymore. Not once I realized that I.."

Emma cut him off "No, Sean. don't say it." Pain filled his eyes. "No, you're not understanding me. Sean" she took his hands and looked into eyes. "I have to say this first. Sean – I love you. I think I always have. I probably always will. I pushed you away because I thought it was best for you. That was the stupidest thing I've ever done . But I love you. I mean that's all I can really say. I love you, Sean."

Sean couldn't believe his ears. _Had she just said_… a grin split his face. He put his forehead against hers and smiled into her eyes. "I love you too, Em. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." The kiss was filled with years of pent up emotion. Apologies for things that were said and done, and more so for the things that went unsaid. When it was over, they sank back down to the sand, never letting go of each other, content in this newfound feeling of security and happiness. But for Sean, the feeling was fleeting, as unbidden worries crept into his mind.

"Em." He said quietly. She turned from her position in his arms "hmm?"

"What… what's going to happen when you go off to college?"

Emma looked at him, puzzled. She smiled softly "Oh Sean, that's almost a year away. Don't even think about that right now."

"No, I have to think about it. Em, I can't lose you again. Not now, not a year from now, not ever. I can't do it again. You're it for me. There won't be anyone else. But…I'm never going to go to college. I'm going to end up a mechanic for the rest of my life. If I'm really lucky, I'll have my own shop one day. But you," he stroked her hair "you're brilliant. You're going to go off to college, and get a degree in something I probably can't even pronounce… and be able to go anywhere and do anything you want. I can't ask you to tie yourself down to some grease monkey for the rest of your life. I won't."

Emma turned, frustrated. "Sean Cameron! I **never** want to hear you talk like that again. Do you hear me? I mean it. You" she grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her "you are a million times more intelligent, more ambitious, more driven, than any stuffed shirt I've ever met. My mother is a hairdresser – do you think for one second I ever thought to myself 'Gee, I wish she was a geologist.'? No. I didn't. What she taught me, is that life is about being happy. It's not about money, or things, or traveling the world. You know what makes me happy?" she stared into his eyes "You do. Always. I don't care if we have to live in a 600 square foot apartment with a car held together by shoelaces. I don't care if you are a grease monkey; you're **my **grease monkey!! I just want you. It's all I've ever wanted. So don't you dare try and tell me I can't have it!!"

The knot in Sean's shoulders had completely dissipated, and he wondered how Emma always knew exactly what to say to him to make him feel better. He pulled her in for a long kiss, and as they drew apart he whispered, "I love you Em. So much."

She gave him a megawatt smile "I love you too."

As rose to head back to Sean's parents place, Emma had one last question for Sean.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Intertwining his hand with hers, he replied "Anything."

"Did you really break Jay's nose?"

**A/N: Annndd that's the end. I think I took this story as far as I could, and I'm going to have less time to spend on it, so I thought I'd wrap it up. Thanks so much for all the kind reviews, I hope you liked it!**


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